Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
