My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we're so committed to being not committed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize