Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Help. Why am I so naked?
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