ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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