Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
