I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
