there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize