Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
