I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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