I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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