You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
