I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
