I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
