..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
