i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize