just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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