Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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