one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
