please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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