Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize