Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she peed on how many people?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
