She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
