Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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