So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
