plz talk dirty to me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
