What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
