Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
