There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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