You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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