it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
