Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
