bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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