But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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