the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
