Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I died a long time ago.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
