OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
