Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
