Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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