well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
