The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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