so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize