is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My feet surprised me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
