I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it glows. i had to have it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
