she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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