I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
and you fell through a lawn chair
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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