There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
