Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
