I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
