yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
