that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
