my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
