Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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