therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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