she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
