Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
