susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
