well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
