I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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