yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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