Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
