Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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