Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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