She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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