he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
